writersfandomcom-20200222-history
Unkle Munky Pg 115
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky is hiding beneath the bedclothes... Artist - Prodigy. Song - Omen. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- When in Rome... Ian from Reading asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my query regarding the phrase, 'When in Rome do as the Romans do'? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Ian, I did indeed receive said query. It would appear from my research that Romans are more than willing to practice what they preach when visiting foreign countries. *''Pictured: Dave the Roman waiting for a bus in Peckham, England.'' ---- Just a Thought. Julie from Dunfermline asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that 99% of the thoughts that we have today will be the same as the ones that we had yesterday? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Julie, I am unable to verify this figure at present as my mind is elsewhere... ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) adds - I think that's a 'yes' then!'' ---- Munky's HeadLies. ---- History in The Making. Samantha from Rivington asks - Dear Unkle Munky, It's been a very historical week and I was just wondering what special memories of it you might choose to keep? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Samantha, Ulrika's smile as she left the Big Brother house will stay with me for a very long time. As you say, an historical moment indeed. Samantha replies - Oh for fuck's sake! I was talking about the inauguration of Barack Obama you thick idiot, not the fuckin' final of Celebrity Big Brother! Jeezus! *''Pictured - President Ulrika celebrating her Big Brother victory prior to sorting out Guantanamo Bay.'' ---- On This day in History (Cheryl Baker from Bucks Fizz). It was on this day in 1989 that Cheryl Baker, of Bucks Fizz fame, invented the sandwich maker. "I remember it as if it were yesterday," said Cheryl recently in interview for Kitchen appliance Weekly. "I’d awoken with an urge that would not go away. Try as I might, there was nothing for it, I simply had to prepare a toasted sandwich containing, amongst other ingredients, a mouth scorching core of molten cheese. My attempts, although successful, were messy in the extreme. It was then that I decided to leave fame behind and concentrate my efforts on inventing a sturdy electrical appliance that would eventually, like the soda-stream before it, find a home at the back of numerous cupboards across the length and breadth of the land." Asked if investing so much of her time in the ‘Cheryl Baker Sandwich Maker’ had, as rumours once appeared to suggest, been the cause of her monetary problems, Cheryl replied - "I am the first to admit that numerous lawsuits filed against me by angry customers with scalded mouths did prove financially damaging. What people fail to understand though, Unkle Munky, is that I too was a victim of the ‘Cheryl Baker Sandwich Maker’. How else do you think I got this irritating speech impediment?" * Cheryl now lives in East Sussex where she makes a living by colouring in pictures drawn by former Bucks Fizz member Mike Nolan. 'Unkle Munky says -' Blimey. He was wasted in Bucks Fizz. ---- Homework Corner. Birony from Huddersfield asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Where do mangos come from? 'Unkle Munky says -' ...Tesco? ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh for god's sake!' ---- Bungle's Barely News. ---- Variety, the Cereal of Life. Glen from Nuneaton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I feel as if my life is going nowhere and that every day is just the same as the last. What can I do to make things more exciting? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Glen, Have you considered purchasing the Kellogg's Variety Cereal Pack? Just think of it, a different cereal for every morning of the week! Glen replies - Your excitement threshold is quite obviously far lower than my own, Unkle Munky. 'Unkle Munky says -' Thanks. ---- Advertisement. ---- How? Jason from Stafford asks - Dear Unkle Munky, How do you suppose Chicken Soup got its name? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Jason, This is a tricky one and no mistake. I shall consult my Big Book of Soup and contact you privately regarding this matter. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Give me strength...' ---- Next... Previous... More Munky Here>>>